Where do we go from here?

 I'm a fool.

I don't even know where to begin.

How? When? Where? Why?

I can't believe it.

The faithful has lost all faith.

There is nothing left, not even grace.

I don't know what I've done to deserve this.

Everything is a fucking mess.

Where do I begin? Where does it end?

Good night.

Comfortably Numb

 That's all I want to be right now. Tired. Very tired of fighting my inner demons.

Cult of Personality

Look in my eyes, what do you see?
The cult of personality
I know your anger, I know your dreams
I've been everything you want to be
I'm the cult of personality

Bipolar Epiphany: Being Alone is OK

I realized tonight that there is something to be said for solitude. Sitting alone at my daughter's play made me think about what being alone was really like.

There are a lot of pros and cons to being alone. When I'm depressed, I can fall into being alone quite well. I simply don't care to be around people, not even my family. Hell, not even myself.

Homeland: A portrait of bipolar disorder?

So I've been looking for movies and TV shows about bipolar disease or with bipolar characters to validate some of my personal struggles with this mental illness. Now I've been sucked into Homeland, the TV series with Claire Danes as a bipolar CIA agent. Psychology Today, in the article linked below, says that it is an accurate portrayal of a high-functioning person with bipolar disorder. I guess I question that.

Bipolar Disorder and Self Care

What does self care mean to you? For normal people it means regular hygiene, eating balanced meals, getting a good night's sleep, etc.

But if you've experienced the severe lows of bipolar depression, self care can be tremendously difficult if not impossible to maintain. It can be so bad that nothing seems to matter. Ask yourself these questions and see what the answers are.

Numb

I'm tired of being what you want me to be
Feeling so faithless, lost under the surface
I don't know what you're expecting of me
Put under the pressure of walking in your shoes
Caught in the undertow, just caught in the undertow
Every step that I take is another mistake to you
Caught in the undertow, just caught in the undertow